I have caved.

That’s right, I’ve began watching American Idol this season.

It’s been fascinating seeing exactly what the judges look for in a contestant’s performance. Some people think they are too harsh, cruel even. But if you’ve ever been in any kind of critique group, or submitted your work into a contest, then you know being able to listen to critiques is part of the process.

Last week, one of the contestants stood before the panel after his performance. Simon raved about his song, but said he didn’t have the confidence, or stage presence to make himself marketable. The young man looked somewhat confused at first, then realization hit him and his countenance changed. Simon went on to say he needed a “swagger” an attitude to make him stand out from the rest. He needed to be more conceited.

That’s when the young artist stopped nodding and shook his head in disagreement. Good for him.

Simon’s words bounced around my spirit for awhile and I began thinking about a book I’m reading for my church homegroup, titled ”The Supernatural Ways of Royalty” by Bill Johnson and Kris Vallotton. It discusses how we’ve forgotten as a church who we are in Christ, how we tend to cower instead of stand strong as a son or daughter of royality.

I began to wonder what kind of presence I present when I stand before the world’s audience.  Do I slouch and hide? Do I walk around with a conceited swagger? Do I put on masks?

Wish I could shake my head no, but I’m not sure that’s such an honest answer.

What I hope… what I pray… is that I’ll stand as a child of the King. Lord help me to stand firm in you. Help me to be who you’ve made me to be without the stage make-up or costumes. Help me to live by your words and not what the world has scripted for me.

Help me to be real.